My Inner Bride.

I’ve wanted to do a relationship post for a while but until now, I wasn’t sure how to write it without either sounding like one of those blissfully happy folk I’ve spent years mocking, or risking my boyfriend finding it, reading it….and dumping me swiftly after. To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure how to go about it, but I’m going to give it a shot.

As a little girl, I never wasted my time wearing tablecloths on the back of my head or having mock wedding ceremonies with my friends in the back garden. Nor was I the inspiring child who confirmed from an early age that I didn’t need a boy to make me happy. I was just a child. Doing normal childlike things. There was no time for fantasising about my future wedding when there were dolls to be played with/rollerblades to be rolled on/spaghetti hoops to be eaten.

Nowadays though, as a 20 something in a long term relationship, I feel like the time has come to put down the spaghetti hoops and pick up the bridal magazine. Okay - not quite… but I am getting closer, and that scares me a little! I try not to fill my head with visions of a ring, a dress, an aisle, a house, a bump… because the whole scenario almost seems silly to me and my life. That doesn’t mean that I don’t do it though; far from it. With so many television programmes documenting the do’s, dont’s, dresses and dramatics of a wedding, they are dangling the matrimonial carrot right above our very noses…and I can only resist for so long before I bite.But hang on there bride buddies! Switch the telly off. Step away from the wedding favours. Aren’t we forgetting something here? It’s all good fun picking every final detail for your perfect day…but you’ll only get so far without a groom. If he so much as spies a magazine cutting of a dress, a castle…even a cake with more than two tiers, and runs for the hills, you’ll have bigger problems than choosing napkin rings. 

So here’s my question; when you see yourself saying I do…does he? How much do we trust the stability of our relationships before he’s popped the question and wrapped you up in a security blanket of marital bliss? Should we try to stop ourselves from imagining a future with the person we love just incase we end up getting hurt? I don’t think so. Perhaps a question more daunting than wondering if you’ll find someone to one day tie the knot with, is that of knowing you’ve found someone…but wondering if he wants to tie his knot with you. Maybe he is the one. Maybe we marry the second one. Maybe the the third one. Or the tenth one. All I know is, if we’re truly happy now…maybe we should enjoy what we have, hide any and all wedding porn in a secret stash under the bed and keep these bridal thoughts as our dirty little secret…

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