Monday, 26 August 2013

My Mary Poppins Handbag.

I don't have fifty bags hanging in my wardrobe.
I don't carry about large tote bags with nothing but my keys, phone and wallet inside - cos, y'know, I'm très chic.
I stuff everything I possibly can into the bag, break my arm carrying it around all day, and have a panic attack every time I can't find my phone in the black abyss that is my handbag.

Meet crazy bag lady.

I was packing a bag for a weekend away last week, and after emptying the bag and staring at the vast contents spread all over the bed, I decided I had to write a blog about it. I mean, when am I REALLY going to need 30 hair kirbies all at once? How much makeup can I put on my face at the one time? A random bag check somewhere could result in me being confused for a jewellery thief, what with all the bling I've got floating around in there. Got a medical emergency? Arm falling off? Fear not - I've got 60 plasters in a variety of sizes and shapes in my bag...we'll just patch that guy right up!

I always start out with the best intentions. I get very protective of a brand new handbag. I'm much more careful about what I'm putting in it. No food or drink, double check that your lip gloss lid is on tight, train tickets are never thrown into the bag - always the bin. Then BAM! It's a month later and you're fishing through a heap of train tickets, crumbs and eyeshadow residue to find one of 30 kirbies playing hide and seek with you.

 What you can't see in the photo - which I removed to in a bid to save some of my dignity - is the horrific amount of receipts that were found. I hate receipts. They're just horrible reminders of how much money I have unnecessarily spent recently. 
I know what I should do - I should stop filling my bag with clutter. I should maybe invest in a smaller bag. I should have regular clearouts. But I won't. 
Why? ... 'cos I'm crazy bag lady.


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